i hate writing

#7 thoughts on writing + a Meg Ryan line

Here are some of my experiences with writing.

I took a writing course 3 times. Only one draft was written.

I took literature in high school. It was taught by someone named Dr Schroor. She was my favourite teacher and would tell stories during class. She was funny and strict. Stern but encouraging. We had to write essays and I would think to myself that I couldn’t write. Writing isn’t taught. You’re just expected to write. So throughout high school, I believed I didn’t know how to write.

Emails. I hate writing emails. I can spend hours writing an email. If you asked me why, it’d be because I’m so afraid of writing a bad one. What does ‘bad’ mean? That’s a good question.

I’ve pinned it down to a few things. I’m scared of looking dumb and of being judged. Maybe both of those things are okay.

I don’t know why I still write. Despite how agonizing it is. It’s mentally painful. For me, writing is a space I can be honest with myself. This means a lot for some reason. I also write because it’s fun. And this feels wrong to say, because so much of writing is hard. All my past experiences of writing have been crappy. But enjoying writing? It happens when I take the pressure off. When I accept the words that come out. It’s reminding myself to have fun. That my writing doesn’t need to have a lesson tucked in. It can just be.

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Something to leave you with.

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”

You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Witty and poignant. Two words to describe Nora Ephron. I can almost imagine myself in a room in New York. It’s winter. The stars are twinkling outside. I have a nice sweater on and the sleeves are rolled up. It’s only proper to - I’m writing an email after all.

Until next week,

Evan